Can you tell us more about the pseudo-birth order characteristics of the two or more only children personalities in the same family? Can these replace the secondary birth order characteristics we are supposed to get from our parents? If not would not that make three extra birth orders, beside the only: the "pseudo" and those gained from both parents (if different)? Thanks, a fan.
Thank you. Is it possible to get Only child as primary and third born from a second born mother instead of second born? That's what I seem to have got, with first born as the other secondary, according to the quizzes. Thank you-
Would it be possible to describe the question to which the above two posts from September 15 are an answer? Primary birth order being third and secondary being third? Thanks -
Thank you again. It is interesting to hear of another firstborn only, with only 15 months in between. I am the oldest and would say I am the one with codependency on my mother...my sister is more aloof, although I guess I have been aloof too...I had had questions about the second born personality in the second sibling after an only child only. My sister has many of those, attention to detail, criticism, sociability, etc; but the part about there being a lot of friction is right on. I have to hold back from going to her and trying to "make up" because this is an oldest child personality thing; and something I am not comfortable with; the amount of effort it takes to make our relationship work is almost too much; and I have given up many times and been shocked by her behavior; I am sure mine is equally shocking, when I think about it. "Fighting over minutiae" as Cliff writes seems right on. Thanks Cliff, again.
Oh - I get it. Thank you very much. I have another question, if you don't mind answering. I took your quiz in one of your books, and came up as primarily only-child personality, secondarily, thirdborn and firstborn. I have a sister who is younger by 3.5 years. Sorry for all the details. I think the following applies to me:
"A mother under stress when her oldest child is around two years of age can create a Birth Order personality in her child that is not First Born. This means the oldest child can be Second, Third or Fourth because of the mother's interaction with the child.
The Birth Order created in the child depends not only on Mother's Birth Order but also on the sex of the child. If the child is a boy he takes on the same Birth Order as Mother's. If the child is a girl she takes on the next Birth Order following Mother's.
With a Second Born mother the daughter becomes Third Born in personality. "
from http://birthorder.blogster.com/when_mother_causes_birth.html
The only question I have, is, is it possible to get a secondary birth order characteristic this way? I often remember being helpful and brave and letting my mother's criticisms roll off my back; in a third born way. Normally an only child personality gets the secondary birth order characteristcs of her mother, not the next one down, according to your charts. I am not sure if my mother is a second or only; she was 4 or 5 years younger than her brother and seems a lot more like a second than an only, in vivaciousness, criticism, etc. But 2nd child is the one that comes up least for me in that quiz; as well as with the "sayings" where "Leave me alone, I'd rather do it myself" really hits home; followed by "No problem; that doesn't bother me" and "I don't know, how about you?" - the third and first. Now I know most situations can occur due to variations in situations, but have you ever heard of this occurring before; i.e. mother handing third born personality to daughter due to stress while daughter retains only child personality as primary?
Thanks, and sorry for the long email. -Still a fan!
Cliff,
Can you tell more about only child hiding power?
In July of 2004, you wrote in your first newsletter, "The Only Child core issues are thinking with feelings and hiding power. If you comprehend thinking with feelings you are an Only.
...
The issues for the Only Child personality are that she hides her thinking and hides her power. Next month we'll take a look at First Born core issues. " [end quote from http://www.birthorderplus.com/newsletter/archive/july2004.htm]
I understand about thinking with feelings so I must be an only child. But this thing about hiding power, I do not understand, and I'd like to. Could you give an example? How can one hide power? Thanks - a fan of yours
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Can you share this test?
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Comment written 2 years ago
"A mother under stress when her oldest child is around two years of age can create a Birth Order personality in her child that is not First Born. This means the oldest child can be Second, Third or Fourth because of the mother's interaction with the child.
The Birth Order created in the child depends not only on Mother's Birth Order but also on the sex of the child. If the child is a boy he takes on the same Birth Order as Mother's. If the child is a girl she takes on the next Birth Order following Mother's.
With a Second Born mother the daughter becomes Third Born in personality. "
from http://birthorder.blogster.com/when_mother_causes_birth.html
The only question I have, is, is it possible to get a secondary birth order characteristic this way? I often remember being helpful and brave and letting my mother's criticisms roll off my back; in a third born way. Normally an only child personality gets the secondary birth order characteristcs of her mother, not the next one down, according to your charts. I am not sure if my mother is a second or only; she was 4 or 5 years younger than her brother and seems a lot more like a second than an only, in vivaciousness, criticism, etc. But 2nd child is the one that comes up least for me in that quiz; as well as with the "sayings" where "Leave me alone, I'd rather do it myself" really hits home; followed by "No problem; that doesn't bother me" and "I don't know, how about you?" - the third and first. Now I know most situations can occur due to variations in situations, but have you ever heard of this occurring before; i.e. mother handing third born personality to daughter due to stress while daughter retains only child personality as primary?
Thanks, and sorry for the long email. -Still a fan!
Comment written 2 years ago
Can you tell more about only child hiding power?
In July of 2004, you wrote in your first newsletter, "The Only Child core issues are thinking with feelings and hiding power. If you comprehend thinking with feelings you are an Only.
...
The issues for the Only Child personality are that she hides her thinking and hides her power. Next month we'll take a look at First Born core issues. " [end quote from http://www.birthorderplus.com/newsletter/archive/july2004.htm]
I understand about thinking with feelings so I must be an only child. But this thing about hiding power, I do not understand, and I'd like to. Could you give an example? How can one hide power? Thanks - a fan of yours